Real-life moms: change is difficult but inevitable

Maybe it was pure fatigue from getting up so early for the first time in a few months. Or maybe what she expected for weeks was the excitement of deflation on the first day of school. Or maybe it was a lot of change for a 6-year-old girl to embrace everything at once.

Anyway, this year the first day of school arrived at my Reagan.

It was weird, but the first part of the evening went well. She told me how they colored most of the day, and wasn’t overly excited, but she didn’t seem to have any anxiety about it. In other words, until bedtime rolls and everything spills.

Regan was determined not to want to go back to school the next day.

At first I tried it – she told her she needed to give it another chance and she would love it. After all, we were late to sleep (yes, first day), and I still had about a million things I had to do.

After hugging and kissing at bedtime and reassuring her that it was okay, I got out of the room and started the nightly job of getting ready for the next day. Shortly thereafter, I heard sobbing from her bedroom. I could sneak up near her door and hear her crying because she didn’t want to go to school.

Overwhelmed by everything I still have to do, I came back with an attitude of what it was. Softly, I reminded her that she would get used to it. Then I told her that I don’t always want to go to work, but sometimes we have to do. Anyway, remembering that I had to go to school tomorrow, I chose to cry all night or to choose my attitude and think positively.

After a huge amount of tissue, hugs and kisses, I left the room again and returned to the housework. After a while, I heard the same whispering from her whereabouts.

Quietly, I sneaked close enough to hear her fear in her tears. “I don’t want to grow. I want to be five years old.” Obviously, I missed the cause of the problem.

So I went back quietly and put my hand on her back as she faced the wall hugging her precious Lurie.

“Reagan, don’t you want to talk to me and go to school anymore?”

“I’m not in kindergarten, mom! I want to go back to kindergarten. I want an old class and an old teacher,” she muttered.

When I jumped in and asked her how she felt, I found that this year’s teachers and classes weren’t bad, they were just different. She didn’t want that change. In her mind, returning to school meant returning to a safe place where she grew up to feel comfortable and loved.

In the six years of this little man’s life, she has gracefully dealt with more changes than many of us had to do – especially in the last year and a half. And this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Completely (and finally) I understood it. I could feel the sparkle of pain from missing her comfort zone. And everyone, if you’ve seen the pain and horror in your baby’s eyes, I’m telling you that what you want to do as a mother is to plunge and get rid of it all. But I was helpless.

So we talked about the change and how scary it was – I made sure she knew her feelings were justified. Then we threw a happy bomb on her fears: this year, one of her best from the neighborhood is in her class and she has the opportunity to make new friends. Talk about how her thoughts move her emotions, and how she couldn’t control the fact that she advanced to a new grade, but she can control what she thinks about it. bottom.

That night was an hour of bedtime. To be honest, I don’t know if I killed it completely or failed completely. I literally didn’t fix anything – she still got up and went to school. I just made her feel what she felt.

Change is difficult. It can be unpleasant and really scary — especially for small babies. But that is inevitable. And I want her to feel and heal from the expectation of returning to school, but sincerely provided enough guidance to see the beauty of the unknown and exciting adventure in front of her. hoping.

Maybe it was pure fatigue from getting up so early for the first time in a few months. Or maybe what she expected for weeks was the excitement of deflation on the first day of school. Or maybe it was a lot of change for a 6-year-old girl to embrace everything at once.

Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a graduate of Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University. Sarah is a full-time working mom and enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy and always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bus Township with her daughters and writes inspiration for Mayley and Reagan.



Real-life moms: change is difficult but inevitable

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