“What should we do? Give him a year to understand his life and move?”
I’m talking to the parents of a 21 year old man. Instead of going to college or the army, he delivers pizza, eats pizza (he gets employee discounts), and plays video games. I have a feeling of déjà vu. I had this conversation over and over again before.
“Why a year?”
“Well, that’s enough time for him to understand things, right?”
“Why not a month? You can figure out why you didn’t follow through for 12 months in a year.”
They look at each other as if they were ghosts.
“Um, um, that is,” the father stutters. “What if he isn’t ready in a month? What do you do?” Looking at his wife, the mother of the child, who was looking a little harder, “Well, I think one month is enough. I don’t. ” He can read his wife’s heart.
“Why not? One day, when he was delivering pizza, you went to his room, unplugged his video game, collected it, took it to work, a safe or something. Then when he goes home and finds it missing and begins to withdraw, when he moves, he regains his video game console and tells him Until then. He’ll probably be gone in a week. You want him to be gone, right? “
My parents look at each other and come back to me with a quiet shock and embarrassment. I am a psychologist. I can read my heart. They are beginning to regret seeking my advice, especially the mother of the child. She is surprised. Obviously, I don’t care about her mother’s instinct.
She finally raised her voice. “John, now really, a month isn’t enough time for him to put together his actions.”
“I disagree. I have much more experience with this than you. He is smart. He has a valid high school diploma. He knows the difference between good and evil. He has no incompetence. He even has a car. When I was 20, I was one year younger than your son and had no car. My 19-year-old future wife and I In less than a month I understood what you wanted my son to understand and got married to three.-In an apartment in a room in someone’s basement, I never looked back. Your son Can do this. Just turn off the video game and use it as a carrot and it will become a huge carrot. “
Surprisingly, they probably did it after vomiting a few times. And a month later, their son left with his video game, and a year later he was still away and understood it step by step. He had an apartment, two jobs, a roommate, a car, and wasn’t playing his video games more and more because sleep was a more pressing priority.
Most importantly, perhaps this young adult mother still had a healthy spirit. Even a sounder.
You can do that too. Remember, there is no pain or benefit.
KRT Mug Slugging Percentage: ROSEMON DKRT Photo by DON WILLIAMSON / CHARLOTTEOBSERVER (March 22nd) John Rosemond writes to Charlotte Observer. (Mvw) 2005
Tighten the deadline for adult children to move out
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